Read a Man...

We all wish we could read minds. We all wish we had magic genie lamps. We all wish we had fortune cookies that actually told our fortunes. And to all you ladies out there: I’ll bet you all wish men would just tell you what their intentions were. Well, to be honest, you’re more likely to acquire telepathic powers or crumble a fortune cookie and read the truth about years to come, than you are to read a man’s mind. But that’s not the point. The point is that, to an extent, there are ways to surmise what his intentions are.

But before we get started, let me make one point clear: this article does not apply school-yard romance in which the boy pulls the girl’s hair, or to those shy fools who can’t even get up the guts to say ‘hello’. It doesn’t apply to hopeless drunks who say they love you because they need some extra cash for booze. Nor does it apply to hopeless romantics who stumble through broken lines of poetry because the movies say they should.

I declare, here and now, that such people are indeed hopeless, to the extent that sitting here, at my keyboard, I have no way – no ten-point list – to help you discover whether or not they really care about you. This article is intended for those men out there who call and don’t call, who suggest interest and then hide it; for regular men who are unsure how to express their feelings; for men who aren’t comfortable making the first move. In essence, this article is intended for most men.

Throw away the drunks, the romantics, the schoolyard rubbish, and all those fellas that say they love you on the first date. Run for your sanity, if nothing else.

A Little About Men

I am a man. I am neither shy nor coy, but outgoing. With strangers and friends alike I am forward and expressive. However, when it comes to that special someone, that cute pug-nose girl, I do what most men do: send confused signals, dash forward then step back, and so on and so forth. You get the picture.

I’m sure many of you ladies have dealt with such issues. He says he’ll call tomorrow but it takes a week. He says he’ll take you out to a nice dinner but instead heads for the bar. Whatever it is, you are confused, not sure whether he is trying to shake you loose because he is bored, or if he’s reeling you in because he is interested. When you are in this state of confusion, hopeless and impatient, remember one fact that is true of most men: when it comes to love, most of us are sensitive, self-conscious, and not sure of what we want (and yes, I am including myself in this sweeping generalization).

Mixed Signals

If a man is sending mixed signals, it means, at the very least, that he doesn’t despise you. However, you need to make sure you aren’t just misinterpreting the signs, so bring along a friend and get her opinion.

Mixed signals are, for the most part, a good sign. They mean a guy is unsure, either of whether or not he likes you, or how to go about letting you know he digs you. The fact of the matter is that either one of these options are good. Most men will drop you like a bad habit (I couldn’t help being cliché) if they aren’t into you.

Most men won’t stick around if they do not see some sort of future value, some prospect. This holds true for even the kind, generous, or shy men; a waste of time is a waste of time, and most people don’t walk that route.

Commitment

Many women find themselves in a situation where it seems a particular man is interested in them (i.e. sending signals, etc), but they are hesitant to take it any further. This creates problems, as the question arises, “Does he really like me or is he being ‘nice’ to let me down?”

As I’ve said before, if a man is hanging around, for the most part it means some part of him wants to be there. However, if you are finding it hard to get him to commit to a relationship, it doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you personally.

Men are sensitive and fear a broken heart just as much as you women. Maybe he’s had bad experiences in the past. Maybe you’re the first girl he’s really liked. It’s impossible to tell. It comes down to communication. Talk about it. Let him know you’re interested and then perhaps he’ll buckle down and get over his fear of failure.

First Moves

The best way to really tell if a man is interested is to let him know that the feeling is reciprocated. Being a male, I have experienced the stress that comes along with the expectation of “making the first move.” The fact of the matter is that men don’t want to make the move any more than women do. But we are expected to do so.

If you really want to know if a man likes you, express to him, in one way or another, that you like him. If he high-tails it and runs, that would be a “No.” But if he smiles and gives you a big kiss, it likely means “Yes.” Give it a try.